National Security Letters

What could be more natural for a national security state than to have national security letters. These must be the cool new fashion accessories worn on the letterman jackets of the varsity players in the war on terror. It would stand to reason that you get a big "C" for CIA, "D" for DIA (or would that be DEA?), "N" for NSA, "F" for FBI, the list must just go on and on. I bet you would get the best chicks when wearing a national security letterman jacket.



Update:

It has been pointed out to me that I was wrong about national security letters. They are apparently secret letters sent by the FBI to people and institutions demanding access to private information regarding someone who is under the ouija eye of the terror fighters. The Patriot Act created these monstrosities. The FBI issues 30,000 of these annually, according to today's Washington Post. The recipient of one of these letters cannot tell anyone, presumably even his or her lawyer, about his/her new pen pal.

Only a country that is scared shitless could devise such an advertisement of its own weakness.